


untitled

by ursamedium



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ursamedium/pseuds/ursamedium
Summary: I wrote this after ME3 to help remedy some ending blues.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard





	untitled

Major Kaidan Alenko holds the name plaque tightly in his hands, feeling the engraved letters dig into his hands, leaving light imprints. ‘Commander Shepard’. All signs pointed towards his death, with the destruction of the Reapers. According to the rest of the galaxy, he should have added it to the memorial wall when they added EDI and Admiral Anderson’s names.

When it came to it, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lose him again. Shepard had promised him that they’d have more time together when it was all over and the Reapers were gone. Time to finally really figure out what this wonderful, new thing between them was. Time to make up for the years he was gone, before. Kaidan refused to believe that he was dead.

He looks up, lowering the plaque. The Normandy’s crew hadn’t needed much encouragement to return to the Citadel and start the search for their Commander. Kaidan got the feeling that some of the crew was just indulging him so he might be able to get some closure, but they were behind him nonetheless. Joker seemed to take strength from the idea of the Commander possibly still being alive, in the wake of EDI’s death. Garrus took charge of the search, organizing the crew into teams.

But it’s been almost two days. The reality of the situation is setting in, the hopelessness of it all slowly dragging him down, wearing on him, telling him to let go. He can’t. When they found Anderson’s body, late into the first day, much of the crew seemed to be on the verge of giving up. Kaidan wasn’t.

Sliding the plaque under his arm, Kaidan pushes his thoughts to the back of his mind and starts to rejoin the search. It’s difficult to pinpoint their location, the damage to the Citadel is so extensive. The ruins all begin to look the same, after a while. To his left, he can see Tali and Engineer Adams trying to shift a large bit of concrete. To the right, Traynor is carefully stepping through the rubble, looking over the area. He’s picking his way through the broken glass when he hears Tali yell his name.

“Kaidan... _Kaidan_! I-I think we found something!” It’s not the first time she’s called him over, but something about her voice this time gets him running.

The Major slows a bit when he nearly trips over the twisted remains of a metal sign. He’ll be no help if he’s injured more than he is. Both the two have stopped struggling with the slab, having shifted it a few feet over. They’re giving him a look that seems so desperate and anxious that he can feel his chest tighten with both fear and hope.

He doesn’t have to ask. He can see what they’re looking at before he’s even all the way over there. It’s just out of reach, a few feet behind that bit chunk of concrete blocking them. An armored body, severely battered. He can’t see a face, just a bit of the torso, most of the body buried under rubble. But he seems intact.

And, more importantly, is _breathing_. Shallow, but he’s breathing, it’s _alive_ , whoever he is.

Kaidan can’t speak. He just motions for the others to step aside. He’s so worn out he can barely manage the biotic push needed to get the debris out of the way. Can’t even take a guess as to how many times he’s had to do that since they began their search, and he didn’t even get a chance for his wounds from Earth to heal.

He can’t manage the biotics to clear off the body completely. Tali and Adams help, with Traynor joining them shortly. It’s the longest few minutes of his life. He knows it’s Shepard before they even can get him clear to see his face. He knows this body, even with it broken and battered. Kaidan says nothing, though, too afraid to speak. And then they’ve got him free, and Kaidan swears he can feel his heartbreaking, again, seeing what a state his Shepard is in.

“Shepard? Commander... John.. _please_.” He reaches for him, pulling his head into his lap, kissing him, and brushing the blood off his face.

And then suddenly those weary blue eyes are staring at him, and he almost doesn’t hear the voice he knows so well, it’s so quiet. “Hey.”

Kaidan’s smiling, and he’s never been so happy he’s cried before until now. “.. Hey. You look like hell.”


End file.
